my modesty out the window- an indonesian spa experience

God decided that I should have my modesty challenged last week when laura and i went to a local spa/salon. we had no idea what we were in for when we headed to "ida's salon" down a back alley. we were looking for a facial, maybe a massage, but we got so much more!
we decided to go to ida's because on the homemade painted sign it said "vacials & creme bath". it sounded intriguing, and hey, why would we go to a slick salon on the main road when you can walk down a back alley and step over the chickens to get in the front door?

The staff seemed a bit astonished to see two tall white people wanting their services, but the owner had no problem convincing us to get a four part package including a "traditional massage" and sauna. i didn't understand the rest but just went with the flow.
i started with a facial which was great, no big surprises. the girl put several different cremes on my face. i did get a little concerned when she applied what felt like electrocution to my face. after a few minutes of trying to figure out what she could be killing me with, i figured out it was actually an incredibly strong suction tube (much like a strong yankauer to my nursing friends - you should try it the next time you are bored at work!). i think it was supposed to stimulate circulation to the surface. that is, if it didn't suck the skin off my face!! i felt quite refreshed when the facial was done, but not exactly ready for what was to come next!

okay, i did have a bit of an idea, because while one of the facial cremes was drying on my face, they stuck me in the room with laura during her massage. so i was sitting in a corner with a white crusty face trying to avert my eyes while two women kneaded laura's back (side note: traditional massages and body kreme do not involve wearing clothes).

so then, it is my turn for the massage. i am a pretty modest person, but i had no choice but to throw this out the window at ida's salon. i had to strip down to my underwear in front of 3 people and then have them all simultaneously massage me. they were so impressed with my sunburn that they had all the staff, clients, and i think neighbours come in to see my bright red back and shoulders. did i mention that i am getting a FULL BODY MASSAGE during this? i just closed my eyes at some point. laura, who was in the "zip in" sauna in the other corner said there were about nine people in the room at one point.

One other customer, an english teacher, always came in at the most inopportune times to ask me questions. while i was on my stomach spread eagle getting my arms creamed up she asked me how to control her weight and go on a diet. while i was zipped into the sauna, she asked me how she could pass the toefl test (teaching english test). very odd.
so, i had a 45 minute massage and body creme treatment, given by about 6 different people, all while laying almost completely naked on a table. but it gets better!!
after the massage, i had to get down to my birthday suit and sit on a wooden chair inside of a blue cover. i was ZIPPED INTO a sauna! never done that before!! picture a big blue cloth box with my head sticking out, and i have a shower cap on. no, i do not have a photo of that. after sweltering for 35 minutes and answering the english teachers strange questions, it was on to the next and final treatment. this one takes the cake!!
so, i am still in my birthday suit and i have to get out and stand boldly in front of a 5 foot tall indonesian girl with a paint brush. not some spa like looking paint brush. a home depot looking paint brush. (hey, at least she didn't bust out a roller i guess!). i then had my ENTIRE BODY painted in "white bleaching cream" (i don't think it is actually bleach). so there i am, with a shower cap on, and my entire body painted white. i was then instructed to stand under a fan. no instructions on the purpose of this, or how long it would take. God was at least gracious in this part, and i was the only one in the room! i just started to laugh because the whole experience was so comedic! (i also might have been laughing because the fan was pointed right above a full length mirror!) i felt like i should break out in some sort of dance!!
when the white bleaching creme was dry and started to blow across the room, i put on a robe and went out to find out my next step. and this is where the spa experience stopped.
i was directed to a back bathroom. it would be one thing if it was just a normal bathroom. however, it was the bathroom, laundry room, kitchen, and storage area for the people who live in the rooms behind the "spa". on the floor are dirty plates with fish bones, on the laundry line are people's bras and underwear, and up in the corner perched on a shelf for a free show is a cat... i had to wash all the white creme off with water (at least it was a tiny bit warm), and wash off with a bottle of "honey soap".
so, 3 hours later, my modesty out the window, and my skin rejuvenated, laura and i walked out of ida's laughing in disbelief at our indonesian spa experience.
i think i will go back next week...